Saturday, December 27, 2003

Sorry if the formatting is screwed in this post, but I'm having to use some jury-rigged method to be able to post. Blogger is buggered (apparently). Either it decides not to exist, or when it does decide to exist I can get to the edit page, type merrily away, click "post", and then try to figure out where it's posting to, as it isn't anywhere I can find it (is Blogger one great sofa, and have I managed to find the hole down the back?).

So for when I finally find a way of posting:
Oooh, I'm a Googlewhack. Ok so I think it's supposed to be two words, but hey... And isn't it great to be able to find out what the poor fools who stumble across this site were looking for (a certain number one seems to be figuring quite highly at the moment).

And isn't Christmas[1,2] great, so much running round dumped on top of the usual chaos. Especially when you end up being given orders by your mother. Even more so when she then gives a different set of orders, which she then won't remember (which of course is my fault). And then you realise that you've become this complete misery guts, and that your parents are bringing out the worst in you, which happens to be an exact replica of them. So this is what festive cheer is then.

[1] Or according to one person the I know "Mass of Christ". What's that?
About 73kg?
[2] Yes that's spelt the longer way, as xmas is just ex-mus. I know it's supposed to be a cross signifying Christ, but surely if you're going to do that it should be +mas (which just looks confusing[3]), and anyway, when has English gone in for pictograms?
[3] And plus-mus sounds odd :-P (and yes that's deliberately below the bit about pictograms).

And isn't it also great when you are sent off to do last minute Christmas shopping in the town were you grew up, and so seeing lots of people you used to know.

And what is it about the news recently - it's going to the dogs, literally (ish). CNN currently reads 'Queen "devastated" by corgi death. Beagle speeds towards touchdown'.
[Obviously this was written a few days ago].

But then I'm far too easily amused by semi-quirky things. Such as wanting to swap two road signs round. On one junction I've been past recently there's the usual "Wherever 2, Somewhere Else 5" sign held up by two posts. Attached to each post are the brown tourist symbol signs for different local attractions: one is a monkey and one is a tank.
Currently it's the monkey marauding the tank, but I think it would work better if the tank was aiming for the monkey. Which is all stunningly dull isn't it? Sorry, it's just I happened to see it, and it's probably one of those "you had to be there" things (although you might not have been enjoying yourself had you been there).

And it was the result of struggling to think of something interesting, whilst avoiding the many things I'd prefer not to go into here (for one reason or another, though you can probably guess some of them).

Going for walks is fun, especially when one relies on memory derived from childhood night-hikes (Scouts. Be do very odd things), and don't bother taking a map. And very democratically (though subconsciously) alternate taking decisions with one's brother. So whilst we've both got quite good senses of direction, our navigating strategies
differ, so we end up using neither. Result: walking in a path that could at best be described as lollipop shaped (think a half molten, battered and probably slightly fluff coated lollipop), including having the great moment when I asked "that sign doesn't say what I think it says does it? Up there by that suspiciously familiar hedge". And then getting rained
upon on the way back (yay, trousers soaked with the run-off from one's coat).

Things I have discovered this Christmas:
- The moon is made of popped tadpoles (Belleville rendezvous, V good film, surprisingly anti-French, having heard people complain about the anti-Americanism).
- Apparently saying you got "a suitable boy" for Christmas can be misunderstood (it's a book, a big book, and I'm still in mid-Middlemarch).
- A worrying amount of people I went to school/uni with are now accountants.
- Some strange people prefer watching Only fools and horses to Amelie (un autre tres bien fillum [what's the French for film?]).
- Presents from friends bemuse me (what do they think of me?), although mine to them probably do that to them as well.
- My car still leaks (well I was hoping some moss might have grown in the right place by now).
- Saying "owie, owie, owie" does not stop it hurting.
- Turkeys are awkward to move (especially when dripping hot fat, falling apart and sticking to stuff).
- People don't ring they say they will.

And that's about it for now, except to say I might not be around for a while.

And they still haven't rung.

Which probably means I should got to the loo, as that always makes people phone you up.

And sorry for the low link:blurb ratio, but I haven't had much time to idle through websites.






Nope, they still haven't rung.

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