Saturday, April 10, 2004

Right, well first things first: Congratulations You were my 1,000th visitor. And you're from Lebanon - that's cool (in an "always wanted to go there" way). And you like Keane [Sat Jan 10th], which is also cool.

And I'm now trying to work out how I can get as many hits from Lebanon as Belgium. Ok, so it's Belgium, but still one's only just the other side of the channel, and it's bigger than the further one. But the stats are strange, as I've got more hits from Denmark alone than France and Germany combined.

And apparently there's a company called Naively optimistic, or some marketing executive's in-joke? But it's possibly better to say I work for Happybank, than Halliburton (who was searching for “anyhoo”).
Speaking of which: 20% are searching for "anyhoo". But I'm not sure if that's 20% of the total hits, 20% of the searches, or 20% of the search terms.

Big News:
I saw a man from the internet. It's very odd standing next to someone one is sure one recognises, but can't think where. And then it dawned on me - B3ta. It may have been the brown leather kilt that gave it away.

Pictures here (yes officer that's definitely him). His response to B3ta's interest. Newsletter issues 104-105.

Not what one usually finds inspecting the passionfruit plants in a local garden centre on Maundy Thursday.

Shame about the creases where he'd sat down.

Hmm, haven't looked at B3ta for months.

Other stuff from this week:
Send stuff to the moon. Why? And surely all that's going to do is clutter up the place and pollute the area. Pointless and irresponsible. So I'll move on before the rant starts.

The Queen speaking French. Suddenly I can understand spoken French. Why can't all French people speak like the Queen?

Yay, it must be summer (or nearly there). Radio stations are playing Girl from Mars by Ash again.

Mandy from BT. Didn't sound like a Mandy. More like a Malati. Did I know the phone bill hadn't been paid. Do I want to pay it now. Er...not sure. Just read my card number out to you. O...kay. Hang on, you rang me up, and you want my bank account details. Hmm, I don't know this person, and I only have their word for it that they are who they say they are. Er, I can't find my wallet right now, do you mind if I ring you back? Ok, bye.
Paranoid? I think she was actually from BT, as it turns out we had forgotten to pay the bill that came before we went away. Oh well.

Adverts that rip off films so obviously, even people who have only seen the trailer know which film it's ripping off, number 1: Lurpack. Chocolat. Any connection? How far apart are tributes and downright plagiarism? And why is there no word similar to either tribute or plagiarism that means the antonym - there is with most other stuff. I've have to invent one now. How about triblen? Meaning a produced object or concept that draws so much inspiration from a predecessor as to be almost a reproduction of the original.
So does this mean the trombone man was cribbed from somewhere else then?

Closing following on from the premise that there is no original thought. Here's a blog entry liberated from Wetware on the learning patterns. Oooh, that was much more apt than I meant it to be.

Also on that page: Guidance notes for bloggers.
Blog readers want to see more:
1 - original research, surveys etc.
2 - original, well-crafted fiction
3 - great finds: resources, blogs, essays, artistic works
4 - news not found anywhere else
5 - category killers: aggregators that capture the best of many blogs/feeds, so they need not be read individually
6 - clever, concise political opinion (most readers prefer these consistent with their own views)
7 - benchmarks, quantitative analysis
8 - personal stories, experiences, lessons learned
9 - first-hand accounts
10 - live reports from events
11 - insight: leading-edge thinking & novel perspectives
12 - short educational pieces
13 - relevant "aha" graphics
14 - great photos
15 - useful tools and checklists
16 - précis, summaries, reviews and other time-savers
17 - fun stuff: quizzes, self-evaluations, other interactive content

So that's an outright fail on most of those.

News: well I'm not CNN, I don't have the resources of CNN, and not terribly much happens here.
Category focus: I'm too distracted by things to write solely on anything. I have a hard enough time staying on topic within a sentence, let alone a posting or entire blog.
Distillation: Why do you want my version of want something says? How do you know I got it right?
Education: There was a reason I didn't become a teacher: according to others, I verge ever-so-slightly on the arrogant, and then veer in patronising when someone wants something explained.
Graphics and photos: No digital camera, and the other would require effort. And my life is not worth illustrating.
Interactive: Do you really want quizzes? On this or the world in general? Ok then.

Occam and Pangloss:
a. Islands in the Dutch Antilles. b. Local law firm. c. Local accountancy firm. d. Guardians of healthy skepticism. e. Hills in the Brecon Beacons.
a. Computer at Luton Uni. b. Yacht in the America's Cup. c. Mr Berlusconi. d. Jeremy Paxman. e. Bush's nickname for Bremner.
a. The 9/11 investigation. b. Flashing untanned buttocks. c. The new name for Tippex. d. Name of South Africa's anti-discrimination laws. e. To stick someone's face in snow.
What is the following about, "If only we could chocolate coat them and send them off somewhere to sell,":
a. Photocopiers. b. Ford's new poor-selling new model. c. The oversupply of grapes in southern France. d. Locusts. e. Conservative politicians.

So I hope you don't mind me being none of the above, but that's the way it is, and that's the way it'll stay (unless I have sufficient motivation to do otherwise).

Anyhoo, I shall close with my new [occasional] feature. Thought for the day (don't worry there's to be no Rabbi Lionel Blue). "It's amazing how having access to information makes you think you need to know it" My brother, trying to coax me off the computer.

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