Monday, August 16, 2004
Recent whonawhatnow search engine hits:
- history of barons court tube station. Er, does anyone actually know the history of the station? I'm guessing not as the searcher had reached result 459 [Answers to the comments section please].
- "pellet mills" tractor. Me neither. And why is Indian Google in English?
- origin of mispelt misspelled. See the 24/5/04 post.
- non sequitur archive feeding pigeons. I'm obviously not drunk enough to even understand what it is they want. Anyway, who wants to feed pigeons? They're miserable, mobbing, and generally quite nasty birds. Go and find some well trained ducks instead.
- "male strip club" athens, greece. Obviously is too impatient to wait for the wrestling. It's strange that most of the results are assorted, largely gay, male "escort" services, and yet there's one result which includes none of the search terms. Can you figure out what it is that google thinks makes it relevant?
Now all I need to do is talk about road laying, with suitable references to [aggregate] hardcore and bondage [of the tar to the aggregate].
[And this is where I discover that Barons Court tube station is a notorious cottaging hotspot (well aren't they all? Though just for the name alone, "Mudchute" on the DLR ought to be. Though technically that wouldn't be cottaging - assuming it means what I think it does)].
Ah, 'tis Monday morn, it must be gay sex [which is just north of Middlesex].
Hmm, considering I was only posting to bump down the rah-rah-rah-ness of yesterday's post (yachts and royal anecdotes, and yet I'm not a Sloane [1]. How can this be?), I'm not doing to well on this "making a better impression" thing, am I?
[1] An Exeter word for a countrywide phenomenon. The type of person who has big, probably blonde, slightly windswept hair, held up with Oakleys, a penchant for padded bodywarmers and Barbours, upturned collars on Fatface/White Stuff rugby shirts (which bear slogans with puns about Cowes, Val d'Isere, Salcombe and occasionally Antigua or Barbados), shorts or trashed chinos, deckshoes or flip-flops all year round. They invariably carry anything held in one hand between their arm and body (and thus tend to choose degrees where carrying large amounts photocopied references and text books is never required), this pose being most frequently seen with copies of the Telegraph.
The type of person who uses the phrase "non-U", meaning "not one of us". Although there is a train of thought which runs that anyone who uses said phrase is distinctly non-U (we'll ignore the fact that to work that out one uses "non-U", and thus becomes "non-U") [2]. Their vocabulary is liable to be full of public school eccentricities, such as using "gash" for rubbish (and I can't currently think of another example).
[2] Apparently it was created by one of the Mitford sisters (although first published by Alan Ross). Google. Though there's part of me that wonders about the Betjeman poem included here. What should one say instead of "fork"? [I'm just trying to think of the alternatives, and failing]. Unless the point is the ridiculousness of eating pastries with a fork.
It's all very odd. The article I link to above debates whether upper class English people would prefer "mahoganized" or "imitation mahogany". A. "-ised" vs "-ized". B. They wouldn't bother. Mahogany is mahogany, anything less is IKEA. Sorry, I'm just riled by Americans decreeing what English people should say - especially as they're mostly terms that don't exist here.
It is odd (well not really) that "employé" has become "employee", and presumably the pronunciation has changed with the spelling. Does this mean blasé and cliché should become blasee and clichee? Um, well, as they're pronounced so they end in "-ay", I doubt it. By the way, what is the official stance on "clichéd"? I know the original French structure suggests it's already in the past-tense, but this is English, and there has to be some means of differentiating between the noun and the adjective.
Oh hang on, the whole point of the U-ness argument is that being non-U requires caring about being non-U. So sod it all, and I'm going to do what I damn well like (and be as clichéd as I like. And do I even have to spell that with an accent?).
Update: to the person requesting an explanation of the poem, here's what I think the alternative version should be:
How To Get On In Society One shouldn't worry about such things.
Phone for the fish knives, Norman Ring or call. One doesn't use fish knives (don't know why just not the done thing, though follow your wont). Norman, pretty much a QEDer.
As cook is a little unnerved; Upset [I'm not sure this is preferable. Maybe it should be "cross"].
You kiddies have crumpled the serviettes Children. Napkins. Serviettes are those paper things, which one wouldn't use.
And I must have things daintily served. A bit twee.
Are the requisites all in the toilet? Paper. Loo or lavatory.
The frills round the cutlets can wait Cutlets are not good, decorating them like Christmas trees is worse.
Till the girl has replenished the cruets Probably "servant", or by name. Filled. Salt and pepper, sauces, condiments (nearly as bad), whatever, as long as it's called by the name.
And switched on the logs in the grate. Lit. "Switched on" suggests an electric fire pretending to be a log fire - definitely not done.
It's ever so close in the lounge dear, Clammy, muggy, stuffy, humid, hot. Sitting room. Only call someone "dear" if you're being patronising (which no-one would ever intend to be).
But the vestibule's comfy for tea Hall (only churches have vestibules). Anything but comfy (perhaps comfortable). I can't see what's wrong with tea, in the right context (ie, being tea the drink, with accompanying cakes or light sandwiches, served at teatime - about 4 ish).
And Howard is riding on horseback Riding means on horseback, unless applied to couples.
So do come and take some with me Sounds generally a bit twee, and slightly too "oh yes, let's do".
Now here is a fork for your pastries Use suitable implements when eating. This can include your hands for certain foods.
And do use the couch for your feet; Settee or sofa. And don't put you feet up.
I know that I wanted to ask you- Just ask the question.
Is trifle sufficient for sweet? Dessert. And probably "enough" or "suitable" instead of "sufficient". Trifle's a bit dodgy in some company, but do whatever you want.
Milk and then just as it comes dear? I'm not sure if this is a reference to age-old war over whether one puts milk in first or after pouring out the tea. If it is, then the milk goes in second (because teabags that get coated in cold milk don't work so well, although possibly this rule wasn't designed for people making it in mugs). Also this avoids pouring milk into too many cups and then wondering what to do with it. There's also probably some argument based on the cooling of the first bit of tea effecting the taste, but I don't know it, and don't really care (not really a great fan of tea). I've come to realise that the reason people serve tea on trays which contain massive amounts of matching porcelain, including a milk jug and sugar bowl, is not to flaunt their ability to buy matching crockery - it's because it's much easier to let people help themselves than to remember who has milk, who has sugar, and how much of each they have. And if they ask for low calorie sweetener, just glare down your nose at them, and say you don't have any.
I'm afraid the preserve's full of stones; Don't apologise for what you serve. Jam - preserves include tomato ketchup, and when applied to fruit based concoctions, it usually means "I tried to make jam, but it didn't come out too well". I'm not sure if pits or pips is preferable to calling them stones, or if one shouldn't serve jam with bits in. But I like the bits in raspberry jam, so again do whatever you prefer.
Beg pardon, I'm soiling the doileys A. It's "I beg your pardon", which is sub-par to "excuse me" (some people prefer "I say" as an attention seeker, although they do sound at bit too 1930s). B. Don't use "pardon" - pardoning is usually reserved for death warrants. C. Unless it's actually soil, or possibly nightsoil, it's not soiling. D. What is the point of a doiley?
With afternoon tea-cakes and scones. I always thought scone was pronounced to rhyme with gone, not stone. Or your could confuse both sides and call them a "scoons".
But then what would I know, being irredeemably middle class (and from the Home Counties too, shock horror), from a family that specialises in gradual social descent.
Anyhoo,
PS. MS Word does not know "twee", and thinks there is no "e" in doiley. In the latter case, I don’t really care.
So much for getting away from class based issues...
- history of barons court tube station. Er, does anyone actually know the history of the station? I'm guessing not as the searcher had reached result 459 [Answers to the comments section please].
- "pellet mills" tractor. Me neither. And why is Indian Google in English?
- origin of mispelt misspelled. See the 24/5/04 post.
- non sequitur archive feeding pigeons. I'm obviously not drunk enough to even understand what it is they want. Anyway, who wants to feed pigeons? They're miserable, mobbing, and generally quite nasty birds. Go and find some well trained ducks instead.
- "male strip club" athens, greece. Obviously is too impatient to wait for the wrestling. It's strange that most of the results are assorted, largely gay, male "escort" services, and yet there's one result which includes none of the search terms. Can you figure out what it is that google thinks makes it relevant?
[PDF] Ground broken for new Welland YMCA on campusSurely it can't be because of the presence of "YMCA"? Can it? Can even search engines work on stereotypes? [Hmm, I've just realised I've included the words gay, male, escort, strip, wrestling, YMCA, and a couple of posts ago I mentioned Village Photos, and I'm bound to have used the word "people" recently. I think my search engine stats are about to get skewed.
File Format: PDF/Adobe Acrobat - View as HTML
Page 1. N Niia ag ga ar ra a N Ne ew ws s Volume 33 Issue 2 www.niagara- news.com Oct. 11, 2002 Free Ground broken for new Welland ...
www.technology.niagarac.on.ca/ niagaranews/pdfs/0203/Oct11.pdf - Similar pages
Now all I need to do is talk about road laying, with suitable references to [aggregate] hardcore and bondage [of the tar to the aggregate].
[And this is where I discover that Barons Court tube station is a notorious cottaging hotspot (well aren't they all? Though just for the name alone, "Mudchute" on the DLR ought to be. Though technically that wouldn't be cottaging - assuming it means what I think it does)].
Ah, 'tis Monday morn, it must be gay sex [which is just north of Middlesex].
Hmm, considering I was only posting to bump down the rah-rah-rah-ness of yesterday's post (yachts and royal anecdotes, and yet I'm not a Sloane [1]. How can this be?), I'm not doing to well on this "making a better impression" thing, am I?
[1] An Exeter word for a countrywide phenomenon. The type of person who has big, probably blonde, slightly windswept hair, held up with Oakleys, a penchant for padded bodywarmers and Barbours, upturned collars on Fatface/White Stuff rugby shirts (which bear slogans with puns about Cowes, Val d'Isere, Salcombe and occasionally Antigua or Barbados), shorts or trashed chinos, deckshoes or flip-flops all year round. They invariably carry anything held in one hand between their arm and body (and thus tend to choose degrees where carrying large amounts photocopied references and text books is never required), this pose being most frequently seen with copies of the Telegraph.
The type of person who uses the phrase "non-U", meaning "not one of us". Although there is a train of thought which runs that anyone who uses said phrase is distinctly non-U (we'll ignore the fact that to work that out one uses "non-U", and thus becomes "non-U") [2]. Their vocabulary is liable to be full of public school eccentricities, such as using "gash" for rubbish (and I can't currently think of another example).
[2] Apparently it was created by one of the Mitford sisters (although first published by Alan Ross). Google. Though there's part of me that wonders about the Betjeman poem included here. What should one say instead of "fork"? [I'm just trying to think of the alternatives, and failing]. Unless the point is the ridiculousness of eating pastries with a fork.
It's all very odd. The article I link to above debates whether upper class English people would prefer "mahoganized" or "imitation mahogany". A. "-ised" vs "-ized". B. They wouldn't bother. Mahogany is mahogany, anything less is IKEA. Sorry, I'm just riled by Americans decreeing what English people should say - especially as they're mostly terms that don't exist here.
It is odd (well not really) that "employé" has become "employee", and presumably the pronunciation has changed with the spelling. Does this mean blasé and cliché should become blasee and clichee? Um, well, as they're pronounced so they end in "-ay", I doubt it. By the way, what is the official stance on "clichéd"? I know the original French structure suggests it's already in the past-tense, but this is English, and there has to be some means of differentiating between the noun and the adjective.
Oh hang on, the whole point of the U-ness argument is that being non-U requires caring about being non-U. So sod it all, and I'm going to do what I damn well like (and be as clichéd as I like. And do I even have to spell that with an accent?).
Update: to the person requesting an explanation of the poem, here's what I think the alternative version should be:
How To Get On In Society One shouldn't worry about such things.
Phone for the fish knives, Norman Ring or call. One doesn't use fish knives (don't know why just not the done thing, though follow your wont). Norman, pretty much a QEDer.
As cook is a little unnerved; Upset [I'm not sure this is preferable. Maybe it should be "cross"].
You kiddies have crumpled the serviettes Children. Napkins. Serviettes are those paper things, which one wouldn't use.
And I must have things daintily served. A bit twee.
Are the requisites all in the toilet? Paper. Loo or lavatory.
The frills round the cutlets can wait Cutlets are not good, decorating them like Christmas trees is worse.
Till the girl has replenished the cruets Probably "servant", or by name. Filled. Salt and pepper, sauces, condiments (nearly as bad), whatever, as long as it's called by the name.
And switched on the logs in the grate. Lit. "Switched on" suggests an electric fire pretending to be a log fire - definitely not done.
It's ever so close in the lounge dear, Clammy, muggy, stuffy, humid, hot. Sitting room. Only call someone "dear" if you're being patronising (which no-one would ever intend to be).
But the vestibule's comfy for tea Hall (only churches have vestibules). Anything but comfy (perhaps comfortable). I can't see what's wrong with tea, in the right context (ie, being tea the drink, with accompanying cakes or light sandwiches, served at teatime - about 4 ish).
And Howard is riding on horseback Riding means on horseback, unless applied to couples.
So do come and take some with me Sounds generally a bit twee, and slightly too "oh yes, let's do".
Now here is a fork for your pastries Use suitable implements when eating. This can include your hands for certain foods.
And do use the couch for your feet; Settee or sofa. And don't put you feet up.
I know that I wanted to ask you- Just ask the question.
Is trifle sufficient for sweet? Dessert. And probably "enough" or "suitable" instead of "sufficient". Trifle's a bit dodgy in some company, but do whatever you want.
Milk and then just as it comes dear? I'm not sure if this is a reference to age-old war over whether one puts milk in first or after pouring out the tea. If it is, then the milk goes in second (because teabags that get coated in cold milk don't work so well, although possibly this rule wasn't designed for people making it in mugs). Also this avoids pouring milk into too many cups and then wondering what to do with it. There's also probably some argument based on the cooling of the first bit of tea effecting the taste, but I don't know it, and don't really care (not really a great fan of tea). I've come to realise that the reason people serve tea on trays which contain massive amounts of matching porcelain, including a milk jug and sugar bowl, is not to flaunt their ability to buy matching crockery - it's because it's much easier to let people help themselves than to remember who has milk, who has sugar, and how much of each they have. And if they ask for low calorie sweetener, just glare down your nose at them, and say you don't have any.
I'm afraid the preserve's full of stones; Don't apologise for what you serve. Jam - preserves include tomato ketchup, and when applied to fruit based concoctions, it usually means "I tried to make jam, but it didn't come out too well". I'm not sure if pits or pips is preferable to calling them stones, or if one shouldn't serve jam with bits in. But I like the bits in raspberry jam, so again do whatever you prefer.
Beg pardon, I'm soiling the doileys A. It's "I beg your pardon", which is sub-par to "excuse me" (some people prefer "I say" as an attention seeker, although they do sound at bit too 1930s). B. Don't use "pardon" - pardoning is usually reserved for death warrants. C. Unless it's actually soil, or possibly nightsoil, it's not soiling. D. What is the point of a doiley?
With afternoon tea-cakes and scones. I always thought scone was pronounced to rhyme with gone, not stone. Or your could confuse both sides and call them a "scoons".
But then what would I know, being irredeemably middle class (and from the Home Counties too, shock horror), from a family that specialises in gradual social descent.
Anyhoo,
PS. MS Word does not know "twee", and thinks there is no "e" in doiley. In the latter case, I don’t really care.
So much for getting away from class based issues...
