Anyhoo (yes "anyway" was already taken).

As Blogger seems to have developed the innovative ability to swallow posts whole, here's something to tide you lot over, just until I figure out what Blogger has lost.

[As an aside, is anyone else having problems with any site connected to Blogger? Blogger.com is being erratic at best, and any site hosted on blogspot seems to be using Brownian motion to transfer data. Has Blogger HQ had someone walk off with half their servers, or is it some local network vendetta at this end?].

Anyway, the thing (except there are two). And it's amazing how much work I can do whilst thinking about something else.

The first one:
You have two fuses. Each burns for one hour. They do not burn uniformly. You need to time 15 minutes. How?

The second:
A certain Ms Lopez has, in full diva-ish excess, demanded that the mirror in her dressing room be surrounded by 10,000 lights. Each of these is to have a numbered on-off switch corresponding to one bulb, in order to allow messages from her fans to be spelt out. One night J-Lo [sweet chariot, coming forth...] decides to get her minions to round up 10,000 adorable urchins, and dress them in balletic fairy costumes. Having done this, she then decrees that one should walk along the lines of switches, turning on every switch numbered with a multiple of one. The child turns one every such light, which is all of them. This amuses the dual-cleavaged one, who then sends the next child out to switch all the lights with a number which is a multiple of two (Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate? Aaa-fleck!). She giggles and claps her hands in style of a performing seal (whatever happened to Mr Solidarity Brother?). She sends the next child out to switch every light whose number is a multiple of three. Her eyes show the unadulterated delight only true simpletons possess. She sends the fourth child out to do the multiples of four. She's boring of this now, even if her face doesn't have enough functioning muscles left to show it. Picking Faceless Minion Number 12 (Official person to receive thrown towel from person towel was thrown at. Job Function: to pass towel to Towel Putter Back) at random, she delegates, and FMN12 then sends out children to work their magic on the switches containing multiples of all the numbers up to and including ten thousand.

Returning from her Hissy Fit Training Course (covering the full cycle of strop, tantrum and sulk), She of the Block (or B-Lo CK) looks at the lightbulbs and wants to know how many are left on. Aware she can't possibly how to count them without getting distracted by her reflection, and that no good flunkey would ever give a quantitative answer, she decides to work it out. Oddly her head starts making mechanical noises like gears grinding together. She hasn't felt this confused since she tried to work out if her arse pulled Jupiter towards it more than Jupiter pulls her arse towards the planet.

Can you be a good little stalker (how did you fit inside the Corby Trouser Press?) and help out your heroine before she Careys? Just how many bulbs are left on?

Answers in the comments section.

Anyhoo,