Monday, February 13, 2006

2006-01-13 004What exactly is the etiquette one should abide by if one should happen to accidentally open someone else's email account, then read quite a lot of it (which rather confused one, as one wondered why one had been sent all this stuff, especially the soppy song with Michael Stipe singing on it from a [male] engineer who wouldn't have struck one as the type) and in the process of discovering one is logged-in to the wrong account then realise that the owner of the account has apparently has two or possibly three concurrent boyfriends, the nearest of which has discovered about another one?

And none of the boyfriends are the one I thought was interested in the owner of the account.

Should one:
A. Send out a flirtatious email to the person one thought was the most likely romantic candidate.
B. Send out a few thousand Fr33 ?0rn* emails.
C. Forward all the exchanges to everyone in the address book (including her boss, grandparents, suitors, etc.).
D. Delete everything.
E. Admit the error to the owner of the account and bankrupt oneself trying to make it up to her.
F. Admit the error to the owner of the account and tell her not to be such a brazen hussy.
G. Admit the error to the owner of the account and congratulate her on being such a brazen hussy.
H. Painstaking ensure that all emails are returned to their original status and hope that one has not marked anything unread which was originally read, and then try to forget all about it.
I. As H, except use the knowledge gained for any advantage possible.
J. Any other action as suggested by readers of one's blog.

One is wavering between H and I (well, one has done the first bit of H) and one is choosing to blame the entire thing on gmail which only shows captions like "Suitor Number 3 to Me" rather than "S#3 to Miss M A Trois".

And what should one do with regard to the knowledge that in Firefox on a certain computer, one will always have access to this unintentionally accessed account, due to the owner of the account not clicking Firefox's "Not Now" button when prompted if she would like save her login details?

Of course, one is far too incompetent at such technical matters to remove the saved information, otherwise one being such a gentleman, and not at all nosy, would have instantly removed the details. And anyway, maybe she meant to save them, in which case it would be positively malevolent of one to delete them.

So perhaps it is best if one should leave things as they are and if that allows for future confusion in which one should just so happen to log in to the wrong account again, then so be it.


* MS Word wants to change this to "Fr33? Orn". Yeah, cos that makes so much more sense.

J. Log into said account.
Compose annonymous message warning of the dangers of leaving log-in details around, (threats/blackmail or sinister/comic words optional).
Send to "Me".
Log out.
Sit and wait to see if she mentions anything.

This should be fun - stupid WV cant decide if it says "Coolhh" or "Codhh".
Send a warning to you? Are you sure you don't want a flirty email instead? After all it's Valentine's Day tomorrow [boo hiss], and anyway, it'll be fun seeing her trying to figure out who Mr A Obscure is and why she's apparently been sending emails while out-of-it drunk again.

Oh, me-her me not me-you me? But do I have to? Reading someone else's emails is the only way I'm ever going to find out what's going on.

You know those chunks of stalk they leave attached to expensive bunches of grapes? My social/gossip network, my grapevine, is a bit like that at the mo.

WV: I know the feeling, and of course, w and v are also really hard to distinguish in Blogger font.
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