Sunday, February 05, 2006

GF3 600 - 07 Low Road AdaptationThe world is a little bit of an odd place.

It's amazing how a small amount of ink can not only start fires, cause stones to levitate and most importantly generate a whole new load of ink. Now if only we good harness this power of regeneration and work it in to the National Grid, and then goodbye Greenhouse Effect (well, adding to it anyway). Who would have thought that a few poor cartoons in some non-entity of a Danish newspaper who unintentionally create the mechanism which would allow the total abolition of fossil fuel use?

Sales of Danish bacon in Muslim countries may have slumped... Oh, hang on, that doesn't really work. Is Lurpack Spreadable halal? But the only other product of Denmark I can think of is Lego, so I'll have to pretend that the Muslim world is venting their ire by throwing Duplo out of the figurative pram. Anyway, sales of [suitable Danish products] may have slumped, but soaring demand has pushed Danish flag production up 4,000%.

Is anyone else wondering how many of the protestors had to look up what a Danish Flag looks like prior to going out to burn one?

We spit on the infidel flag of, er...
[Whispered] Latvia?
No, no, that's the Isle of Man.
I thought it was Indonesia.
No, Indonesia looks like Poland, that's more Monaco or maybe Malta.
It's Hong Kong isn't it?
Has it got any blue? If so it's the Dominican Republic or possibly Iceland.
It looks like Northern Cyprus.
Are we counting that as a place? I'd say it looks a tad Greenlandy.
Don't you mean Kalaallit Nunaat, which is Inuit for "that which cannot be spoken".
Qatar, innit?
It's Tonga.
No, I'm sure it's Peru.
It's definitely Singapore. Well, maybe Switzerland.
Look, it's obviously Trinidad.
Looks like Sark to me.
I hate to break it to you, but while superficially similar to Denmark, that flag is actually for the Sovereign Military Order of Malta. The proportions are all wrong, see?
Really? Oh look, that one's pretty, can we use that instead?
Where is it?
Um, it says the Seychelles, wherever that is.
Sri Lanka's is quite nice.
Oh yes, I saw that lion thing on some cushions the other day. I nearly bought them, but I can't remember where they were now.
That shop just up the road from the bank had some made with the Scottish lion, although it was the wrong colour yellow for my curtains.
Can you remember how much they were? And it was the single upright one, not the three? I can never remember my rampants from my other-ones.
What? Oh yes, death to the infidels, there is no dog but Spot, yadda, yadda, yadda. Can we hurry it up, I want to be back in time for Lost.
It's not on. It's Desperate Housewives instead.
Really? Is the new series any good?
I don't know, I haven't seen it yet.
Tell you what, why don't you come round to mine - it's nearer - after we finish this pyromania thing.
It won't work anyway; the thing's polyester, so all you'll do is get a big puddle of molten plastic, burnt fingers and slight increase in personal risk of cancer.
Well sod that then. You know I've been wondering about this whole "there is no dog but Spot" thing. Well, what's that make Snowy? And you can't claim Dogmatix isn't a dog because he's even got it in the name. There then's Lassie, who although thick and twee is distinctly doggish. What about the Littlest Hobo? What was the name of the one in the Famous Five...

But for a cartoon which is actually amusing...

Or maybe I'm only saying that because I saw the French translated versions, and my French isn't quite up to being able to get punchlines about running out of virgins. Strangely, while my education taught me to ask for a slice of ham, it didn't ever get round to "have you yet surrendered your virtue?"

Unless "je voudrais un croque monsieur" doesn't mean what I think it means.

But enough about what happened in September (and they call this news?), and on to far more important matters:

You are .html You are versatile and improving, but you do have your limits.  When you work with amateurs it can get quite ugly.
Which File Extension are You?

Fascinating, huh? The quiz turned up in Google under some vaguely work related thing (oh hell, I've just remembered something) and I was feeling easily distracted.

Other recent discoveries include TfL's "The Tube is Screwed"(TM) text messaging service, which I'm sure will be useful at some point, and er... there was something else, but I've mentally mislaid it for the time being, although I'm fairly sure it wasn't anything to do with new diagnostic tests for Alzheimer's. It was one of those "Oooh, that's quite clever and potentially useful" things.

Anyway, in other news, people who leave Die Welt in the bathroom are kunst (as are people who get to vanish off to Vancouver on "work". What's the betting he finds himself in an Irish bar?), because it is a truth universally acknowledged that any person in my family will read any materials left in the bathroom, even the leaflet on Toxic Shock Syndrome from a box of Tampax (we're like that wherever we are, so at breakfast study the terms and conditions of the latest "win a CD full of 80's songs you don't remember" competition, as well as the leaflet on TSS that was slotted into the side of the pack [what are Weetabix trying to tell us? Oh dear, my brain's overrun a bit, and I've just had a not very nice thought. A bit of a crunchy not very nice thought. I might have toast tomorrow]).

One Problem with German Newspapers, is not only do They insist on Capitalising every Thing, but I can't understand most of It, and yet I still try. So end I end up with contextless collections of terroristisches, rassistischen, blasphemische and bombe, with occasional Chirac sprach, and then they go and bung in a "todesbessessen" and I being to wonder if they're just making it up.

Doppelpfugelessenmenchen Nordatlantikpakt im Krankenhaus gegebegevergefreiarbrietungvolkstiengeliebenwirtskraftschaft. See I can do "German" too.

Hmm, where does annoyance with other languages and making stuff up fit on the [name edited out] scale of Blood Sugar Level? And for that matter where does typing one's own name onto a supposedly anonymous (although it doesn't take that much adding up. I mean how many 2s does anyone need before they can get 4?) blog come on the scale of waning energy and concentration?

And with that I'd better investigate cooking.


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