Anyhoo (yes "anyway" was already taken).

I really must stop hoarding posts until I get tired of the thought of proofreading and editing them and then publish them in a bunch which no one will read. It doesn't help they're interwoven with incrementally published posts, so the distinctions between new and old are hard to discern. Should you wish to see what just spewed forth, click here, here, here, here and here. I know one of those claims to have been published in April, but it was mostly written then, it just sat, draftily, for quite a long time. And then sat some more.

Speaking of things which are delayed, a Lexar memory card I was at Christmas given conked out Monday night. For your viewing pleasure, we now present the subsequent live text chat help conversation that took place on Lexar's US page. Why the US one? Because the support website has a drop down list at the top, with the command "Select Country/Region" which runs:
North America
China
Espanol
Hong Kong
France
Germany
Japan

Not exactly an exhaustive list, nor one which makes a great amount of sense. But as North America is closer to me than Hong Kong, and those are the only two likely to be in English, I stuck with it.

Hello, my name is Hima Bindu . How may I help you?
Hima Bindu : Hi Any
Anyhoo: Hi, I'm in the UK, and a memory card I was given at Christmas, wiht a 5 year warranty, has stopped working; what should I do?
Hima Bindu : May i know the type speed and capacity of the card?
Anyhoo: It's and SD card - 2GB.
Hima Bindu : Did you get any kind of error message while using that card?
Anyhoo: It'd been working fine until last night, when my camera refused to read it, stating "this card cannot be used". I tried in a different camera which came up with "memory card error".
Hima Bindu : Did you try to view the card using computer and card reader?
Anyhoo: When connected via USB the computer insisted there was no connection available.
Hima Bindu : I understand that the card is not detected by your computer.is that correct?
Anyhoo: Yes, and it used to be; other cards still are.
Hima Bindu : Do you have important data in the card?
Anyhoo: Fortunately I'd already copied the bulk of it.
Hima Bindu : Do you want to send the card for replacement
Anyhoo: Yes please - where?
Hima Bindu : Please give us the following details
Hima Bindu : First Name,Last Name,Email id,Phone Number,Street Address,City,Zip,Country
Anyhoo: Anyway Hough
Anyhoo: Any_Hough@Anymail.com
Anyhoo: +447744 123456
Anyhoo: 29 Acacia Road, Ericsville, Bananamanshire, CR2 9OW, UK
Hima Bindu : May i know the speed of the card?
Anyhoo: I can't find anything which has it on; it was a present. Could you work out from the codes on the back of the card?
Hima Bindu : Please give the serial number on the card
Anyhoo: top line: 50110642LO55 Next line:31031-2GBPSA 3rd line: 4206P
Hima Bindu : Thanks for the information Any
Hima Bindu : is there anything else i can help you with?
Anyhoo: What happens next? Will you send details of what I have to do to me?
Hima Bindu : you will receive an email with RMA Number and shipping address in 1 hour
Anyhoo: Ok, thanks.
Hima Bindu : Please send the product to that address
Anyhoo: Right.
Hima Bindu : is there anything else that i can help you with?
Anyhoo: Think that's it. Thanks for your help.
Hima Bindu : you are welcome
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Ignoring my early typos, don't you just love the "what speed?" bit? It doesn't say anywhere on the card or the packaging (I did consider telling her is was blue, if that helped). And I hope you enjoyed the frantic typing of all the text on the back of the card, apart from Made in Taiwan, because I don't know which is the serial number, as much as I did. It's even finer print than that used for the warranty.

That was at about 6ish on Tuesday night. It's now quarter past nine in the evening on Wednesday. I think this is stretching the definition of an hour.

I knew I should have tried the Woking phone number buried on the warranty slip, which is not visible on any part of the site.

How long should I leave it before I re-enter the den and am once more asked for every possible detail? Part of me really wants this to spiral into one of the consumer retaliation campaigns so prevalent nowadays (and effective, said he who knows someone who used to do SEO and spent much of his budget placating the higher scoring attrition websites). But a far larger part of me would just like something to do what it's supposed to.

"Lexar Media is dedicated to providing you with the best product and purchase experience possible."

Ish.

Anyhoo,