Tuesday, December 11, 2007

DSC_1585 - ArrowBuggeration.

Maths ought to be banned. And so to should probably Christmas.

Guess who wrote out cards list, with the usual "they're dead, she's dead, she's dead" that comes every year (you'd think I'd remember, but they've been at the top of the list since since time immemorial, although I'm not sure I can think of a blanket mailing list if I don't start with grandparents and she-who-wrote-her-name-in-the-pavement), counted up how many cards I needed, how many distinct designs were necessary and what was the minimum of each required. And then I went to buy them, cursing places that closed at four or halfpast, scurrying round, shuttling between shops to check prices (the place with the front door propped open to the frozen night and t-shirted staff charges significantly more for an identical pack than the place run by the woman who used to run that clothes shop; higher heating bills presumably), deciding on one pack from the cheaper shop, then getting there and noticing a pack of similar theme (I have problems buying cards; I refuse to countenance any with writing on the front, like all the people I send cards to too much send to plump for twee, be it chick-lit twee, nostalgic-twee or kiddywink-twee and refuse to pay that much for them), which is half the price but has two-thirds as many cards. It doesn't help that I start to wonder why I don't just cheat and get some suitably wintery photograph printed*. Who says Christmas cards can't also be Moo cards?

* Probably because I don't tend to encounter sun-daubed rime-laden landscapes. Half-scraped windscreens aren't quite so photogenic.

Anyway, so realising the cost-per-card disparity I bought the cheaper and better value pack, then adjourned to a different shop to try and find an acceptable design that was another variant on the same idea. I nearly bought one pack, before realising it was more expensive than the first and has far fewer cards in, so opt for its cheaper sibling, which is only just less than the pack already bought. And then I go smugly off, via the post office to check last dates (er, missed everywhere bar Western Europe already [sorry], but then they claim the last posting day for Paris et al is Wednesday 13th. So presumably that's February 2008, being the next one).

Of course once back and working out who gets what (I ought send out a questionnaire covering degree of religiosity, percent literal-mindedness, tendency to take umbrage and tolerance of fripperies) suddenly the truth announced itself unto me. Taking out the clusters of individual cards I realised I had 2 left of one design and 5 of another. I also had nine names left.

At which point I realise that in the quest for best value I'd somehow overlooked quantities. Blast. And cue emails. I did ponder handmade cards, but er, then I would have missed the very last posting date.

I knew I should have just Quentin-Blaked everyone.


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