Saturday, December 26, 2009

DSC_5173 - The Pile of the TriffidsGender
We think is written by a woman (63%).
1. 26-35 (28.6 %)
2. 51-65 (20.6 %)
3. 18-25 (19.9 %)
4. 13-17 (16.9 %)
5. 36-50 (7.4 %)
6. 65-100 (6.5 %)
1. upset (61.1 %)
2. happy (38.9 %)


So you think I'm either my age or maybe my parents' age (I think they're still in that bracket)? And that I'm female and annoyed? Can one have a self-fulfilling half-prophecy?

'Ways, u ent noin wachu tawkin bow, blud, ya get me?

Now, if that doesn't get me bumped into da yoot cats, then I don't know what will. Except I used an apostrophe (for our younger readers, that's a "sidenose") on "anyways", so probably dooms me to the mid-life crisis section.

All this because I don't write like Hemingway?

[Insert pastiche of Hemingway here, full of short sentences, jabbed speech, brassy blondes, not real blondes, but fake blondes, blondes from a bottle, blondes bloody men like, men with rust on the hands, brown dirt on their brown faces, the sea as prison, non-non-or-are-they-sequitors, simp words for simp guys, misogynists, pointless all, violent abrupt, Greene's Pinkie with heat, on heat, packing heat, crusted heat, no commas, sure, what the hell; a semicolon].


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